Making the Drive Go Well

When we go on long road trips, we try to line up a few books on CD for the boys to listen to as we drive. They usually have a backpack full of books to read, notebooks to draw in, and things to play with. But we don't do video games (except for an occasional game on the iphone) or movies (except for really long cross-country trips).

Of course it's important to find stories that all of us can enjoy. What the 9-year old likes, the 6-year old doesn't necessarily. And not all children's stories are appealing to the parents.

The classics are generally good ones--especially if read by a good voice actor. Last year we heard Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn (one was on our way to visit the Tom Sawyer Cave in Hannibal, Missouri.

Last year we also listened to Peter Pan in Scarlet by Geraldine McCaughrean. We enjoyed the follow-up story to the original. I've also heard that Dave Barry's stories of Never Neverland are also good.

We recently listened to The Amazing, Astonishing, Incredible and True Adventures of Me!: Charlie Small in Gorilla City. It was a fun, imaginative adventure as read from a 9-year old's journal.

We also just finished Room One: A Mystery or Two by Andrew Clements. We were all pulled into the story of a boy in a small town in Nebraska who stumbles across a mystery. The story is about the importance of keeping promises, being kind to strangers, and being person of character. But it's all tied up in a great story that kept us wanting to drive some more so we could hear the next part.


Those are our current recommendations. We'll keep you posted on what we listen to next.

More from Kevin Leman

Here's Dr. Keven Leman's Top Ten Countdown to Having a New Kid by Friday:

1. Be 100% consistent in your behavior
2. Always follow through on what you say you will do.
3. Respond, don't react.
4. Count to 10 and ask yourself, "What would my old self do in this situation? What should the new me do?"
5. Never threaten your kids.
6. Never get angry. (When you do get angry, apologize quickly.)
7. Don't give any warnings. (If you warn your child, you're saying, "You're stupid. I have to tell you twice.")
8. Ask yourself, "Whose problem is this?" (Don't own what isn't yours.)
9. Don't think the misbehavior will go away.
10. Keep a happy face on, even when you want to...do something else. (Taken from p. 289 of Have a New Kid by Friday)

Hopefully, some of those grabbed your attention to implement with your kids. I encourage you to pick up his book to find out more of what those mean and how to put them into practice.

Have A New Kid by Friday

If you haven't read a book by Dr. Kevin Leman, I encourage you to do so. He's been our go-to-guy for issues of parenting, relationships and marriage. My wife used a video series of his back when she was leading a moms' group, and it was very insightful.

So, when we were having a recent bout of the battle-of-wills in our house, we finally decided to get a copy of Have a New Kid by Friday from the library. It's a wonderful book--I actually just ordered used copy online. Basically, I only wouldn't recommend reading the book if you're completely happy with your child's behavior all the time or if you're not willing to put any effort into parenting. The book is laid out in five easy chapters (Monday - Friday) that give steps for preparing to change your household.

Monday: Observe your household. Ask yourself what areas in your relationship with your child are most troublesome. Decide where you'd like things to be. Be willing to act and stand by it.

Tuesday: Look at attitudes, behavior and character (yours and the kids). Realize that the kids are getting their behaviors from somewhere, and their parents are the most logical source. Be willing to change your actions.

Wednesday: Evaluate your parenting style (authoritarian, permissive or authoritative/responsible) and how your child responds to your style. Look at steps you can take to be more balanced in your style.

Thursday: Look at Acceptance (unconditional), Belonging (emphasizing it within your family) and Competence (spurring them on). Stop praising your child (which links their worth to their actions) and invest more in encouraging them.

Friday: Evaluate your plan and where you want to get to. Think through how you usually respond and how you intend to now. Do it.

The bulk of the book looks at specific issues (from bed wetting to manners to fashion), helping work through how to approach them.

That may be a trite summary, but I hope it encourages you to check the book out if you want to improve your relationship with your kids. You're in control--make your home a place where everyone enjoys being.