Wrastliln'

When we lived in an apartment, one of my regular activities was to wrestle on the bed with the boys. We didn't have space for running around and expending energy in the apartment, so the boys would crawl up on our bed and wrestle me. The bed provided the extra bounce--along with the thrill of the danger of potentially falling off the bed. Wrestling basically involved the boys jumping on me and me trying to ward them off--or possibly putting them on my feet and holding them up in the air.

I've forgotten to do this after moving into our house. But I remembered last night (I've remembered before, but not very often). The boys love it. And it's good time together. The only draw back is that it gets them a little too wound up before bed. But a good story with the lights off will cure that.

Superhero Birthday Party

Nils turns five this coming week. We did his party with school friends today...his first birthday with school friends to invite. 

The superhero next to the superhero
that they had to tape the emblem on

We went with a superhero theme (in part because Beth got some Iron Man invitations and a table cloth in the clearance bin at Target a while ago--but Nils is also into superheroes).

We started with having the kids design a superhero emblem. I cut some out. They colored. Then we played pin (or tape) the emblem on the hero.

Next it was time to decorate capes. My wife had cut out some capes from a bed sheet we had been given. Each little superhero got their own to color and design.

Little superheroes designing their capes

Dressing up as a mild-mannered photographer
for the relay.

The capes were important because they were needed for the next activity: the superhero obstacle course. At one point the kids had to dress up in their alter-ego clothes and then take them off and put on their capes. 

This was followed by some lunch, some present opening and a wonderfully-decorated super hero birthday cake (thanks, Sweetie). 

A simple, fairly stress-free day--just how we like them (except for a few melt-downs but those were likely caused from a lack of sleep from having a sleepover last night). All-in-all I think four little superheroes enjoyed the day and had lots of fun together.

Superhero cake break

We Work Hard, We Play Hard

The boys had a couple days off from school last week. My wife was out of town, so we headed down to Iowa to my parent's farm. They had hoped to also drive to Des Moines to have time with their cousins (and their trampoline), but our time ended up being shorter that we initially thought we'd have. And both my grandmothers (the boys great-grandmothers) were now in the same nursing home. We hadn't gotten to see my maternal grandmother since she moved there, and time with them is short and precious, so we wanted to make that a priority (and of course I forgot to take pictures while we were with them).

One of the days were were there we spent helping my dad on the farm. The crops had all be harvested (I was hoping we'd be able to get in some combining). So we helped work ground (breaking up the ground the corn was planted in to overturn the stalks and make planting in the spring possible).

The boys traded off spending time in the tractor I was driving and the one Far-Far (grandpa) was driving (both were John Deere of course). Each of them got a chance to drive. Nils loved working the lever to raise the disk ripper when we got to the end of a row and had to turn around. Anders wasn't thrilled with being in the tractor all day. Nils loved it and would have spent more time there.

We talked about farming and hard work and how much easier it is now than in the Little House on the Prairie books we've been reading.

After we were relieved from our work by my uncle, I took the boys to a good old country park where we played on the playground equipment that would be contraband in any city because it's an unsafe liability (I'm fairly certain some of it is older than my parents), we hiked around the lake and climbed up to go across an old train trestle. After visiting my grandmothers in the nursing home again, my parents took us out to eat at The Pizza Ranch.

The boys also found out that hard work pays off as Far-Far gave them a few dollars for "helping" out in the field. I hope time on the farm teaches them a little bit of work ethic--as well as having good time with family and being outdoors.

Doctor Visits

We've had a lot of sickness in our house lately. First it started a couple weeks ago when my wife took my oldest son home from church on Sunday night because he had a fever. I took him into visit the doctor the next day and discovered he had strep. He would be contagious until 24 hours after starting the antibiotics. But the fever lasted most of the week--so no school for three and a half days. Last Friday I got a call from the school saying my youngest had a fever. I took him into the doctor right away, fearing he had strep. It was just an ear infection in both ears. He had a fever for several days. I took him into school a couple mornings this week only to have them call within a short time saying he needed to come home. He acted fine the rest of the day (I think it was partly because he wanted to come home, lie on the couch and watch a Disney movie like our kids usually do when they are sick--and they haven't watched TV most of the summer). Hopefully tomorrow he'll be back. And this afternoon, after being back in school for a while, I got another call from school that the oldest had a low grade temperature and a painful ear ache. I took him into the clinic and discovered he had an ear infection as well. 

It's been tiring. I've been trying to secure some work. My subbing license just got processed, so I've been contacted schools and looking for other jobs, writing cover letters and sending resumes. I guess it's providential that I haven't been working during these weeks so that I can be home with the boys and be able to answer phone calls from the school. 

I'm the kind of parent who does fairly well at cuddling with the kids on the couch (which means that I don't get as much done around the house) and reading them some stories. I don't do as well with having compassion during the night when they keep getting up throughout the night. I don't mind it if they wake up with a legitimate need. I get frustrated when one of them keeps wanting attention and trying to get it in inappropriate ways. I also don't always do well at remembering to give them medicine when needed. Or taking them to the clinic for a follow-up. 

And I'm a little anxious about next week as my wife is going to be gone on a research trip all week out of state. Hopefully, everyone is back to good health by then and stays that way. But the track record from the last few weeks hasn't been a good one. 

The Playground Parent-Type Assessment

Yesterday we took advantage of the beautiful weather we had here and went to a park for a picnic. We ended up at Elm Creek Park Reserve just north of Maple Grove. We had been there this summer for swimming, but it was always too hot to play on all the metal of the new playground that was installed. So we headed up so the boys could play. Like many of the Three Rivers Park District playgrounds around us, this one was well done. It is the kind of playground you wish was around when you were a kid. Plenty to climb on and explore.

I've decided that playgrounds are a great place to assess what type of parent you are. I see many parents who hover over their children, warning them not to climb too high or slide too fast. If this is you, loosen up. You're way too protective. I understand the desire to protect your kids. And you should. But only from the real dangers out there. Playgrounds, while they may give their share of cuts and bruises and scrapes to kids, are not a real danger. More than protecting, our job as a parent is to prepare our kids for growing up and being on their own. So instead of warning them, encourage them. Let them try...and fail if need be. A bonk to the shin or a scraped hand will heal. You can teach them to not walk in front of a swing, but you don't need to hold their hand the whole time.

I see some parents who take their kids to the playground and ignore them. They sit on a bench and read a book or talk with a friend. Now, I understand the need for adult time if you're a stay-at-home parent. But if the trip to the park is your main time with your child(ren) that day, then pay attention to them. You may be the parent whose child had no boundaries because you feel guilty giving them any. They may be the playground bully--pushing kids, not waiting their turn in line, throwing sand, etc.--because they long for boundaries and for you to give them attention.

And you may be the parent who is right their with your child, encouraging them as they try something difficult that they haven't done before. Maybe you're right there on the play structure playing with your kids, having fun (and getting some exercise, too). Maybe you're sitting on a bench doing something relaxing after a hard day of work, but you're paying attention to where your kids are and what they're doing, responding to them with loving words. Children need a mix of boundaries and freedom, soft love and hard love (discipline). They also need attention from their parents; quality and quantity time is important.

Book Giveaway!

I was recently given a copy of the book It's Your Kid, Not a Gerbil by Kevin Leman to review. I am a big fan of Kevin Leman. His books have helped shape our parenting style in a way that we are in charge--not our kids (think about it; that's pretty rare among families). We don't always succeed, but we do our best, and keep working on parenting in a way that keeps us sane.

In this new book, Leman addresses the busy, stress-filled culture in which we're raising our families. He gives helpful and practical pointers for moving toward creating a happier and less-stressed home--something I think we all as parents desire. Of course, we can only move in that direction if we're willing to take the steps to do so. But if happiness and less-stress in your family is a desire, be sure to pick up a copy of It's Your Kid, Not A Gerbil by Kevin Leman.

And, the good folks at Tyndale Publishing have given me a certificate for a free copy of the book. If you're interested in receiving a free copy of the book, please leave a comment on this post. Be sure to include your email address or a way to contact you if you are the lucky winner. Winners will be chosen at random. One entry per person. The drawing will close at noon (CST) on Monday, September 26.


***UPDATE: I was informed that some people have been unable to post to comments. I am going to extend the entry deadline to noon on Wednesday, September 28. If you are unable to post a comment, please email david.wenell @ gmail.com

Near the End of the Summer Harvest

It wasn't a great year for our garden. Several seeds didn't germinate. Squirrels took care of a number of things that did start growing. 

Tonight there is a threat of frost, so I covered up the vegetables that are left. Mostly tomatoes and a few beans. 

The boys helped pick some of the ripe tomatoes and beans the other day. Most of our vine fruits didn't grow at all--not cucumber, zucchini, pumpkins. But we did have a few cantaloupes that had started to grow. One was eaten by squirrels. One was on the outside of our fence and somehow managed to survive squirrels and everyone who walked by it. So we picked it and are waiting for it to ripen. 

We'll have a few more tomatoes and beans yet, plus the root vegetables that are left. I know we've got a few decent carrots and some parsnips, I believe. Next year hopefully the boys are up for doing more work in the garden. It's one of those memories I have growing up that instilled a good sense of pride in accomplishing a fruitful garden as well as hard work and time with my parents. Not to mention all the good eats. 

Memorials and Remembering

I had the television on Sunday morning; most stations were airing the memorial services from 9/11. Our boys were both born several years after that event. They are probably oblivious that there is a war going on because of it (not because we intentionally keep it from them, but just because it really hasn't come up much in our daily discussions).

They were mesmerized by the coverage of the events in New York. And at that point it was mostly just names being read, but they didn't want the channel changed. Our 7 year old asked what it was about. So we explained what happened (actually my wife did as I was taking care of something else at that point). It was good for them to know that and see what was happening 10 years later. People were still remembered. That's important. They need to know that events and people will be remembered.

A few years back we were with my grandmother on Memorial Day weekend. We went with her and my sister to the cemetery where my grandfather, great-grandparents and other family members are buried. I never knew my grandfather. But it's important to remember and respect. It's important for children to see that as well. We haven't been able to get back for Memorial Day to a cemetery, but we still talk about our family members who the boys never got to meet. It's important that we remember.

We remember events and places, too. After watching a movie that brought Anders to tears recently because the family was getting too busy ("successful") to have time for one another after they had moved to a bigger house. We talked about our old places where we've lived. We talked about neighborhood friends and things we used to do in those places (walks around the pond, playing with neighbors in the pond, community events). we also talked about our place, friends and opportunities now.

Sometimes we try to protect children from death and loss. And while they don't need to see the horrors of war or other tragic events, death is a part of life. We can't hide it from them. Rather, it is good to remember. It is good to acknowledge. It is good for children to see that life matters as we remember those who have passed away, as we remember tragic events.

A Long Day for a Four and a Half Year Old

Confession: There were a few points during this afternoon and evening when I need not to deal with my 4 1/2 year old. For his sake as well as mine.

It was the first full day of school for my 4 1/2 year old. He had 5 half days of orientation last week (to help new students begin to understand the Montessori approach). He did well last week. Today--not so much. The long weekend probably didn't help (we probably should have had a few more earlier nights and restful days, but we had a lot of fun with friends). There were a few tantrums (complete with kicking and screaming), plenty of crying, a bit of fighting with brother and friends, and other actions that aren't typical of our child (at least not in abundance like that).

He said he liked it, though. It was fun to get to eat at school and be there all day. He seems to be making friends and enjoying the learning exploration. So I'm hoping this is just a short phase of adjusting to things. We had our small group from church at our house tonight (which where half the breakdowns occurred, of course). So he didn't get to bed super early, but he did seem to go down fairly quickly. Here's to hoping that day two goes more smoothly.

Back to School

Our 7-year old started school today. Our almost-5-year old has had orientation all week for his Montessori Children's House (he'll start full days on Tuesday). And so summer is at an end. We were getting summer weather again today, though, so we packed a picnic and headed down to Lake Harriet for swimming and a concert. I will miss summer. I know most parents are ready for it to be over. I'm not quite there yet. There was so much I had planned on doing (visiting more museums for one--but it's hard to be indoors in the summer). But I am excited about one thing that comes with going back to school: schedules. Well, not all of the schedule. I like some freedom and ability to be spontaneous, but I'm excited to have an earlier bedtime again for the boys. 1) They do better at sleeping. 2) I do better at sleeping. 3) My wife and I have a little more "alone" time before bed to either get some things done or to have some time together. The family next door to us has their little ones up well after I'm in bed. I don't know how (or why) they do it. I think it's a single mom (possibly two) whom I would think would enjoy any down time she could get. I also know the importance of a good night's sleep for my boys' development and well-doing at school. We're exploring a new family schedule as it is. My wife is starting grad school. I'm looking for some work. Both boys are in school. I don't think we're going to pack in too many outside activities until we see how things go. So for now, we're enjoying getting back into the swing of things.