Motivation

Confession: I (and my wife) get frustrated (and maybe sometimes angry) that our son doesn't want to do the things he needs to do.

At the end of the last school year, our then second grader made a list of goals for the summer as part of an assignment. Despite reminders I don't think heh ever looked at them.

One of our goals for him was for him to have his multiplication facts memorized. Admittedly, I didn't follow through with it as well as I should have, with using driving time in the car to work on a fact family and such. 

He's a kid with a delicate ego and sometimes poor self-esteem. He's said at times he feels like he's "the worst kid in the world." 

We try to be loving and encouraging as much as possible. Apparently we don't always nurture that very well, though. At least it feels like our efforts haven't paid off in creating an "I-can-do-it" attitude.

We've tried various approaches: encouragement, check-lists, even the occasional bribe. Nothing's been effective. And ultimately we want him to have the self-motivation to do things on his own because he desires to achieve things.

So, I'd love to hear what works for you...how do you instill a desire in your child to accomplish the tasks before him that aren't going to go away? How do you help keep a child motivated? 

Alone

We dropped my wife off at the airport today. She'll be in Pennsylvania for the next ten days working on her research site for her doctoral program. The boys did well with this drop off--there wasn't any crying this time.

Sometimes I feel like putting a post on Facebook seeking sympathy for having to take care of my kids alone for the next ten days. Other dads get to do it. But it would be silly for me to do so. I'm used to taking care of my kids. Sure, I'm not alone most of the time, but I cook, I clean, I do things with the kids.

Still, it's never easy. The hardest part of a spouse being gone isn't necessarily the lack of support with tasks around the house or watching the kids. It's that you're now the only adult in the house. No grown-up conversations or interaction after the kids are in bed.

But it's only ten days. And I won't be alone. We've got friends and family. I can do it. So can you.

Scheduling Free Time

A friend of mine posted this on facebook today. I may have to look into getting my hands on the book.

We try not to over-schedule our kids. They're not in a ton of sports or activities. And sometimes I regret not being able to give them music lessons or gymnastic lessons (they're inspired by Batman to learn some gymnastic moves). But I do try and plan things now and then--trips to museums or zoos, bike rides, picnics in parks, swimming at the beach, time with friends, etc.

I think we also give them a fair amount of free time--empty hours. But our oldest at least tends to spend his empty hours doing the same thing--playing with Legos or drawing. And he can do that for hours, but it doesn't always create happiness.

So I guess that's part of my pondering--will my children create their own happiness with their empty hours or do I need to help them discover how to do that? There are good thoughts here, and much to explore and discuss.

Summer Solstice

Trying out the Pedal Pull

Confession: I don't like that it's already the longest day of the year--Midsummers Day for those of us from Scandinavian descent.

A week and a half into being out of school...we're slowly getting the hang of summer (and me being back at home for the next few months).

A cousin of mine was married last weekend in Iowa. The boys and I drove down early to have a few days on the farm with the grandparents, visit the great-grandmothers in the nursing home, and enjoy summer opportunities (lakes and small town summer celebrations).

Visiting Great-Grandma

Last night we participated in the Celebrate Northeast Parade with our church (and other churches). I brought the boys' scooters (a good move on my part) and they did the whole length of the parade and back (to get back to our car) which was from 28th Avenue to 14th (okay, we hopped in at 26th Avenue, but we had to walk a couple blocks from our car). They did well.

We haven't been home much yet. And the few days we have I've had some appointments, and soon the boys will have appointments. So we haven't gotten too many days on our own to form any sort of schedule yet. I'm hoping for one day for bike rides, one day for visiting museums, one day for working around the house and yard, etc. And there will be days in there of watching friends' kids and playing with neighbors.

Enjoying the Lake

I know many parents dread summer. I enjoy it. Maybe it's because of all the opportunities my kids have for summer in the city that I didn't have (my opportunities tended to be farm work and swimming lessons--both of which I'm grateful for, but it was a little more limited that what we have here). I enjoy getting to take them places and explore--new libraries, new museums, new parks, new people.

I already feel like we've got a lot going on, and we're not doing any day camps or major activities. There is plenty to do. And plenty to enjoy.

Today, the most sunlight potential we'll have all year, was a bit cloudy and rainy, but it ended with a spectacular rainbow. It was well past bedtime, but when I got home from a meeting, we loaded the boys in the car for a pajama ride to try and chase it down. By the time we got to a place where we could get some good pictures, it had faded pretty well. But it was a nice ending to Midsummers Day.

Earlier sunsets from now on (which isn't bad--it'll help with the bedtime routine), but still a lot of summer to enjoy.

Summer 2012

School is done (I'll have to write more about that later) and I'm back to being a stay-at-home parent for the summer. I'm looking forward to it.

I just came across this listing of free events around the Twin Cities (concerts and such) and thought I'd post it so that I can remember it as well as sharing it with others.

Click here: Free Family Events around the Twin Cities

Continental Cumulus

As we were driving this afternoon, my 5-year old looked up at the sky and said, "That cloud looks like Europe." I guess he's been working on the world map a bit at the Montessori School.

An Update

I clearly haven't been posting here lately.

I've been substitute teaching (or subbing as a para) almost every day. It's (mostly) enjoyable. It also makes for long days. I get home usually just in time to pick up the boys from school. That leaves time to figure out something to make for supper. Then there's often something going on each night--either I have a meeting, or my wife has something, or we all have something going on. Plus there's plenty of things around the house to do since I'm not here to take care of them during the day. (I so miss being able to hang clothes on the clothes line--even in the winter.)

The days are much longer. But I am grateful I don't have to work every day. If one of the boys is sick, I can stay home (fairly) easily. I don't have to worry about early out days at school. I can take a day off if I just need to get something else done.

So even though some days are tough--there are some classes I really wouldn't go back to if I can help it--I'm grateful that since I have to work, it something that still allows me to have some flexibility. I'm especially grateful that we're able to keep to our family's commitments and desires--that the boys don't have to do after school programs and that I can be there when they're sick. And I should still be able to have the summer with them.

The Holidays

Our intention during Advent and Christmas is to focus on why our family marks these celebrations. We try not to fill our days with hectic busyness, hours at the malls or making out lengthy lists of things we want, but be intentional about what we do and how we do it. We try to create space for hope, peace, joy and love. As well as family, fun and generosity.

To read about some of our holiday family traditions, go to these links:

Shoeboxes

St. Nicholas Day

Putting up our Tree on Santa Lucia Day

I share our traditions not to say our way is right or pass judgment on anyone who celebrates differently, but to encourage you to make the holidays about what you desire them to be--not about what consumerism and commercialism try to make them. May this season be meaningful for your family--not something you dread.

Picking Out Presents

Yesterday a local youth organization held their annual gift Children's Gift Sale. School children from the neighborhood needed their parents to pick up a ticket for them last week for $1. The kids can then go and pick out up to five presents for family members and friends. Businesses and neighbors donate generously supplying a wide array of gifts for the children to pick. Volunteers take the children and help them keep the receivers in mind as they look for the right presents. While the parents are waiting, we were entertained by a jazz band singing Christmas songs. The boys loved having an opportunity to get gifts for people. They wouldn't really be able to otherwise (though they are making a few handmade presents).

If you've got an organization near you that does something similar, help them out if you can. We focus a lot on things like Toys-for-Tots, which is a great program, but this helps teach children the joy of giving as well.

Neighborhood Holiday Festival

On Friday night we ventured up to check out Holiday on 44th, a neighborhood holiday festival on the far north side of Minneapolis. 44th Avenue was blocked off for a dozen blocks or so, between the high school on that road and the elementary school.

We were going to check it out last year, but it snowed a lot on that day and we decided not to leave the house. So this year, after my wife got home from school, we headed up to check things out. We ended up parking closer to the elementary school so we went there first. A magic show just finished, so we stayed for a delightful puppet show. It was quite hilarious. Several families from the boys' school were there, so it was nice to get to talk with some friends. There was ice carving outside as well as a fire pit for roasting marshmallows.

We ambled down the street, talking with other families as we went, enjoying being able to hold hands while the boys tromped through the snow.

The puppet show took up most of our time (which was fine...we didn't get there right when it started), so the only other thing we ended up doing was stopping in a business where the kids could make a bird feeder. They enjoyed it, and they came home with a nice feeder. They plan on hanging one in our yard and giving the other one to someone at Christmas.

There were several other activities going on. Many of the shops on the street had a sale at least, some had giveaways. There were pony rides, horse-drawn wagons, flame jugglers, carolers and a lot of other fun activities (most of which we didn't get to see this time). The high school had a craft/art/bake sale that I was told was pretty good (some friends scored some wild honey for a good price).

It was just a nice evening to get out and enjoy some neighborhood fun in a larger metro area. It didn't cost anything (though there would be opportunities to support some local businesses) and was a fun memory for the kids. Look for those fun little neighborhood/small town type of holiday events. They're simple, but enjoyable times.